It's sad but it's true: there are a lot more men out backpacking than women. This bums me out, and if one of those reluctant girls is your significant other I'll bet it bums you out too.
If you are trying to get your girl out on the trail with you for the first time, or after some less than stellar experiences, here's a formula to try:
- Blow her away with the benefits,
- Know and overcome common barriers,
- Mind the weather & season,
- Choose an appropriate level of difficulty.
People who don't camp (well) think that camping is uncomfortable, boring, dirty, and buggy. They can't see the benefits that camping has to offer. Play up these benefits to your girl, using your knowledge of her interests to tailor your sales pitch and destination choice.
- It's breathtakingly beautiful. So you like the view of the sunset while you're driving your SUV down the highway? How about as it sets over mountains with no other humans in sight? How about the sun rise reflecting off an alpine lake as viewed from the door of your tent? How about a hillside alive with wildflowers? How about waking up to nothing but the sound of song birds? The views from spots where you'll make dinner or pitch a tent will blow away those at any restaurant or hotel you could drive to.
- It's empowering. Carrying everything you need in one little backpack, feeding and watering yourself, and surviving the night in a tent and sleeping bag makes you feel alive and powerful.
- It's a unique experience. When you look back on your year, a camping trip to a beautiful location is likely to be one of your most memorable experiences. It standards out from all the plugged-in days we spend in civilization. And even if it's not the highlight of your year, when your co-worker inevitably asks, "what did you get up to last weekend," at least you'll have something interesting to share.
- It's thrifty. When you backpack you can go on a mini vacation every single weekend and hardly spend a dime. Instead of saving up for one big vacation every year, you can get away whenever you want to and still take that trip to the Bahamas.
- It's good exercise. 'Nuff said.
- It will make her the best girlfriend/wife around. Positive reinforcement is a key ingredient for enjoying any new activity. When you're out there make sure to tell her how cute she looks in her hiking boots, what a badass she was for hiking all that way, and how much more you enjoyed the trip because she was there to enjoy it with you.
I ran a survey and had over 100 women respond with the top reason they aren't interested in camping. The big winners were (in order):
- No toilets
- No showers
- Being uncomfortable (sleeping pads, too cold, no AC, etc)
You know how I'm always talking about doing your business in the woods? There's a good reason. It's the #1 anxiety that stops women (and probably men) from enjoying the backcountry. I suggest a two pronged approach. Choose a destination that includes an outhouse and have your girl read up on how to pee in the woods. This way she'll have options. Bring plenty of toilet paper.
When I first started camping I thought it was totally gross to start my day without hopping in the shower. I get it...but I've gotten over it. Here's what to do:
- Camp along side a clean lake. Not only will this make for a beautiful site and an easy access point for water, but you two can go for a quick dip in the evening or morning to freshen up. Be mindful that a brackish or inaccessible lake won't help! High alpine lakes are usually ideal (although cold as heck).
- Bring wet naps. A quick wet nap "shower" in the tent can leave you feeling fresh enough to start the day.
- Wear marino wool. One of the things that alleviates that unwashed feeling for me is wearing the right fabrics. Not only does marino wool not get stinky after a day of hiking, but it also feels good against your unwashed skin, unlike synthetic athletic fabrics. A gift of a cute marino base layer could help convince her.
Take one for the team in support of your larger goal.
- Carry more of the weight.
- Let her use the better gear. Do you have one good air bed and one crappy old one? Give her the good one. If she decides she likes camping she'll get her own gear soon.
- Keep her warm. Women get cold a lot more easily than men, especially while sleeping. Bring a down jacket for cuddling around the campfire; down booties or an extra blanket to keep her feet warm in her sleeping bag; a warmer sleeping bag than you would choose for yourself; delicious hot drinks.
- Pack earplugs for a better night's sleep.
- Choose an appropriate season based on your local area. In the Pac North West that means summer. Where you live that may mean a cooler season to avoid baking to death. See "Season & Weather" below.
The best thing you can do about bugs is choose a season (depends on your location, but September is great in my area) or location that minimizes them (oceanside is great for that). If that's not an option for you deet up, make sure you are using a fully enclosed tent rather than a tarp, have her bring a jacket and long pants and a simple bug head net, just in case. You can always hangout inside the tent playing cards during dusk and come back out after the bugs have gone to bed.
Season & Weather
Bad weather is the easiest way to turn an otherwise fantastic trip into a torturous slog. Your first trip should be planned for the ideal time of year - appropriate heat level (not too hot or cold), fewer bugs, low chance of rain, higher levels of beauty (think waterfalls, wildflowers, lush landscapes, etc). This may mean waiting for a few months before heading out. Patience is key. Don't hesitate to take a rain check if you have a poor weather report on your intended departure date.
If you've been doing this for a while your idea trip probably looks like bagging peaks, hiking from dawn until dusk, 7 day loops, ultralight gear, etc. Forget that stuff. Plan something with your partner in mind. You first trip should:
- Go for 2 days, 1 night. For most newbies, one morning without a shower is all they can fathom. Leave her wanting more.
- Hike ~5 miles. This will have you hiking for 2-3 hours. If you get to the end of 5 miles and are still enjoying yourselves, you can drop you packs and keep day hiking.
- Not straight uphill. Here in Vancouver many of the popular short "city" hikes are just 1 hour uphill slogs (I'm looking at you, Grouse Grind) leaving many people thinking that this is normal hiking. Choose a trail that doesn't shoot relentlessly up so you can enjoy the stroll.
- Go slow. You've only got 5 miles to go. Stop and smell the wildflowers. Take pictures. Pause for licorice. Look up and enjoy the beauty all around you.
- Choose beauty. Don't choose a spot for the achievement points, choose one that melds beauty with conveniences. A beautiful lake or river, a good view, and allowing camp fires will go a long way.
- Bring diversions. When you are only hiking 5 miles you may end up with a lot more time to kill in camp than you're accustomed to. Plan to have something to do. You can make cocktails and hangout lakeside, play cards or Pass the Pigs, or do some reading. Don't just sit around letting the mosquitos bite.
If things go well, there will always be next trip to increase the intensity.
A note about car camping
Some people might suggest that you should start with car camping and use that as a stepping stone to move to backpacking. Personally, I suggest the opposite. For me, car camping reinforces many of the things that I don't like about camping (dirty bathrooms, bugs, going to bed feeling dirty, sleeping on the ground) without offering any of the key benefits that make backpacking worthwhile (feeling like I am living inside a postcard, solitude, achievement). If I'd started off with car camping I may have been scared off entirely!