Since it's obviously a topic of interest, I think it deserves a follow up. I've done a lot more camping, and a therefore a lot more "business in the woods" since writing that article. (I'm sure you really wanted that image in your head. You're welcome.) And so I have an update: I've quit carrying toilet paper, and I'm loving it. (Again, don't you just want to invite me to your next sophisticated cocktail party?)
That's right, I've fully converted to using nature for my toilet paper. I was intimidated by this at first, but once I read Mike Clelland's fantastic book, Ultralight Backpackin' Tips I was inspired to give it a go. Mike (we're on a first name basis now, obv) describes pretty much everything you could ever use as TP in his book, lovingly detailing the benefits of different mediums. I definitely suggest you check the books out which is packed with useful information.
If you haven't tried it you'd be surprised at what makes great trail TP. After employing this method in a variety of climate zones, I find that it's impossible to try to give you a list of what works well since it varies so much from area to area. For example, moss in one area may be dry and crumbly (not practical) and sparse on trees (shouldn't be picking it) versus moss in another area may be thick and damp and awesome and practically choking the life out of every surface available (a.k.a. jackpot).
When choosing natural toilet paper I'd suggest these general guidelines:
- Texture: choose something smooth enough to not scratch your tender bits, yet textured/rough enough to get the job done.
- Waterproof: choose something that's either water proof (such as a leaf with a soft and textury on the under side for wiping, but water proof and smooth on the other wide for finger protection) or can be stacked thick enough that leak through wont be an issue.
- Quantity: nature as TP is rarely if ever as efficient as normal TP, so grab plenty of your material of choice and wipe away generously.
- Environmental Impact: choose something that wont be missed from the current environment. What is found in abundance? What is already on the ground and not still living? These are good places to start.
- Dampness: Try using something a little damp - it's surprisingly luxurious. It gives a delightful little freshening up.
- Variety: Don't think that each bathroom session can only have one type of TP. By all means, grab a few different items and try them out!
- Snowballs. If you do a lot of winter camping this may be the only thing available to you, so it's lucky that it makes for great TP. Form several tight snowballs and give it a go. Not only does the delicate yet gritty snow wipe pretty well, but it also gives a bonus washing effect. I recommend following these up with something dry if you can find it.
- Moss. The right moss is a delight. I live in British Columbia where moss can often be like a thick shag carpet over everything in the forest and can be pulled off in 2 inch thick pillowy clumps. The right moss may actually be better than toilet paper. Well, that's probably an exaggeration. But it's pretty great.
- Rocks. I know, right? Rocks! Who knew! I never would have figured that rocks would make nice toilet paper without Mike Clelland's endorsement. Just make sure they aren't too scratchy.
- Leaves. The obvious go-to. If you can find a broad leaf with a fuzzy, soft underside it works well. But overall I'd say leaves are a lower order choice for me. Firstly, usually that means picking a live plant which I'd prefer to avoid. Seconly, many leaves are a overall too slick to do a nice job.
The benefits of using nature as toilet paper are many:
- Light Weight. No need to carry any toilet paper, shaving ounces from your pack.
- Minimize impact. I always hated the idea of leaving toilet paper behind, even if it was buried, and equally hated the idea of packing it out (or packing it until the next outhouse).
- It's kind of fun. It makes you feel like an adventurous pioneer person. Toilet paper hasn't been around forever, after all. Plus it makes you appreciate the convenience of TP more when you get home.
If you've been thinking about it, take the plunge! You may find that it's not nearly as intimidating as you thought and be able to confidently leave the toilet paper behind on your next trip.
Thanks for being so brave that you write about this highly private topic (as you also did in April 2009). Last summer I attended a survival course for women. During that course we had to stay outdoor for two nights. We had no access to a toilet, neither to toilet paper. Our instructor suggested that we should use either moss or fern. Not to go into details but both "remedies" were sufficient for the purpose. Last week I went for a canoe hike with some friends and inspired by your article I tried to act the privitive way again. Just for the fun of it I tried to manage without toilet paper. And again it was ok. But I think one point should be added to your list of advice: Wipe when still squatting to ensure that the skin around the opeing gets well cleaned.
ReplyDeleteThen a general comment: Last week we were around 20 persons canoeing together. We were discussing equipment, food, health, weather......, but the toilet issue was never mentioned between us. It was neither discussed in the information material for the hike nor spoken of. No toilets along the route. Obviously we all had to visit the bushes lots of times. Still I guess that everyone tried to get away alone without anyone noticing, but certainly everyone knew what was the reason when somebody went alone for the woods. And occasionally, especially in the morning, when trying to find a secluded spot for own privacy, one could get a glimpse of someone else just as a confirmation of the fact that we all have the same needs. And yes, I still feel very embarrassed if anyone gets a glimpse of me squatting in the bushes. Articles like those from CB is important as reminders to all hikers. ("Hikers of all countries unite"... to make this a conversable issue.)
Thanks Anon! I know that a lot of people are nervous about these questions (as I was). Somebody's going to talk about it, it might as well be me!
DeleteYou, this blog post, its predecessor, and this entire blog are so awesome. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteHa ha, glad you enjoy it Amanda! I aim to please :D
DeleteI just wanted to comment upon this one too! I have never really managed to quit with bringing toilet paper. But I have reduced the use of it to a minimum. Partly because I try to use some kind of natural material for the first wipes and then finish with just one small piece of paper. Partly because I have experienced that when squatting really low the need for wipes are less than when just "hovering" over the ground. Often I also have to open my bowels in the early morning and then I try to get it done before I am bathing or washing myself.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the posting at the top. Brave of you to address this issue. I think many of us not only feel embarrassed about going to toilet outside, but also are in doubt how to do it and even if it is legal. My personal, short algorithm is: 1. When beginning to feel the urge, start lookig for a suitable spot. 2. A suitable spot is well away from water and out of sight for the friends. Most of us do not like to be involved in other persons needs of this kind. 3. Squat low then the process goes quickly. 4. Follow local customs (bury, packing out etc). 5. Smile, enjoy the surroundings and be happy not to be constipated, and if in doubt I say to myself that for sure my friends also do it.
ReplyDeleteusing a rock can leave you with ring worm, don't try that method.
ReplyDeleteVery effectively removes poop and cleans the wiping region
ReplyDeleteI have tried, but never really managed to quit with toilet paper. For peeing I use a "pee rag", and for pooping I usually only need one tiny wipe. (Perhaps TMI but I squat as low as I can, bend well forward, and I (please do not laugh) try to widen the butt crack by stretching the buttocks with my hands... Hopefully nobody has seen me in that situation. I guess it would have been a tragic and comic sight, really too embarrassing to think of...)
ReplyDeleteI do it exactly the same way. And I think few hikers would be astonished or embarrassed of such a sight. I guess most hikers have seen others as well as being spotted in such situations. Without a door to lock that is part of outdoor life.
DeleteEh, uhm, well; perhaps I should not write this. But I once accidentally walked in on one of the (elderly) men in my hiking group (pilgrim hike) just as he was in that particular position. Luckily (?) I came up from behind so he did not observe me before I succeeded to withdraw from the scene. Therefore none of us got embarrassed. Neither I got astonished, because I was out there for the same purpose. But, it was a comic and unforgettable sight that helped me to become somewhat more relaxed about such situations and accepting it as a natural part even of a pilgrims' hike. If anyone should wonder, I managed to get my duty done, in quite the same way. So yes, every hiker knows all about it, mature men and young women included.
DeleteGoing to toilet in the outdoors is a taboo to many of us. How we technically do it is probably an even greater taboo to some of us. But I have to admit that the method described above is quite efficient in reducing the need for toilet paper. (God forbid that anyone ever observes me, a decent university teacher, in just that situation.) I have tried to manage without paper a couple of times, using mosses or bundles of grass. It works, but if I don't wash myself down there afterwards, it may lead to chaffing. When peeing I use a pee rag.
DeletePersonally, I still rely on ordinary toilet paper! Widening the butt crack for sure helps minimizing the amount to be used. As to comic situations, I agree with the statement above that most hikers would not become astonished of spotting another hiker squatting with a bare bum. But I think for example most young men like me will become somewhat embarrassed if walking straight in on the most decent mature woman in the group just as she is squatting exposing her bottom to the nature or if the mother of the best friend just turns up when you are squatting. (Yes, I have experienced both situations.)
DeleteAs a child, once when I was accompanying my grandparents for a day hike in the mountains, my granddad had to go to toilet. He took the backpack and went over to some low birches while my grandmom and I continued picking berries. I was astonished to see that he lowered his pants and squatted just between the birches. I had not seen an adult man poop before and thus I was a bit curious. I must admit that I in fact tried to spy at him from behind some bushes.
DeleteHe started looking in the backpack but obviously he could not find the toilet paper. He called out for my grandma, but she had walked further on and could not hear him. He then went a few steps out of the bushes, trousers at his knees, and tore up a bunch of long blades of grass which he bundled together and used to wipe with.
When he reached my grandma and me again, she asked how he had managed. He just answered that it went fine, without mentioning anything about wiping with grass. I don't think that he realized that I had observed it all. But it was a practical way to learn a trick that I have used myself a few times later!
At an archaeological site in Crete I once saw a male tourist wipe with paper from a notebook after pooping in the bushes.
DeleteLast summer in Scotland I saw an elderly woman squatting behind a bush with her dress pulled up well above her waist and the panties at the knees. I went by at the other side of the bush. I think she hoped that I should not spot her, but her white back, arse and thighs was very visible through the branches. It was at a side road some 300 feet from the country road. At a lay-by along the country road, there was a car parked with the driver sitting in it. Most probably her husband waiting for her. When I later walked back the same way, I saw what she had done. Five or six huge lumps of poo. She obviously was not well prepared because she had wiped with some pages from a newspaper (Dutch!) I guess she was a tourist driving in the country side with her husband and had been caught og a sudden urge out there. Some weeks later at the same spot I observed a young woman biker squatting to take a dump while her boy friend waited at the lay-by. Later I saw that she had left a long "snake" (40 cm) and wiped with grass. I think it is quite common that people caught by a sudden urge have to wipe without using ordinary toilet paper. At the same spot I have also seen professional drivers stop to take a dump, but they mostly use toilet paper. Some years back I also saw a Russian tourist bus stopping there. Several of the passengers (>20) where squatting to pee and poop behind bushes and stone fences, but I think all of them used ordinary toilet paper.
DeleteA story quite similar to another above. Yesterday I went with my grandparents for a day trip in the woods, picking berries etc. After lunch I was picking berries in the slope above the parking lot. Suddenly I spotted my granddad just as he stood up behind a stone pulling up his trousers. He had obviously been pooping. When I came over there I became very surprised when I saw what he had used instead of toilet paper! He had used the three eaten cobs of corn from our lunch which we had put in the waste bag!
DeleteLater I understood why, because when grandma asked for toilet paper he said that obviously they had forgotten this at home. He went over to the car to find something for her and came back with a bunch of polishing yarn which she had to use instead of toilet paper. I have noticed that both of them often poop after lunch and therefore they usually have toilet paper in the car. As a girl scout I am used to practice LNT. I think my grandparents are too old to have heard about that, because I have seen that both of them just leave the turds on the ground, but usually put the used paper in the waste bag.
When I came home and searched the Internet, I found that eaten corn cobs often were used for wiping after pooping before toilet paper became usual.
Some years back we visited some business contacts in Russia. After meetings they invited us out for an outdoor parting at a river in the country side to eat and bath. When we had eaten I felt a great urge to take a dump and I went up to the parking lot to look for a toilet. There I met one of the russians and asked him about the toilets. He just answered that there was no toilet. He was a bit drunk and did not take it any further. But the short conversation was overheard by the busdriver, a mature woman. Obviously she understood a bit English. She smiled and asked Toilet? I nodded. No toilet, but... she said and pointed to the bushes. We both smiled and then she continued... need to?... need paper? Yes, I said and smiled. OK she said and went to the bus to find a roll of toilet paper that she gave me and said... just....yes... go there, no toilet here... and pointed again to the bushes. I took the roll and both smiled. You must... she said, and illustrated with body language that I had to pull down and squat. Sorry but so..., no place, no seat... yes, in the grass, she said with a smile. No problem I said and smiled back.
ReplyDeleteBack there I saw that I was not the first one. Several old and also one fresh poo with newly deposited toilet paper with the same pattern as I was given. Obviously our driver, I thought and pulled down and got my business done in few minutes. Then back to the driver with the roll. OK now? she asked and smiled. Yes, I said and continued, sorry to disturb, but... well, thanks. Oh no, just... better to.... well... one must then... trees when no toilet. Yes, for sure, I said and nice that you had paper, so thanks. Well... I always have paper...when driving... no toilet... and yes...must do so. Normal here. All must do so. Only way. We both laughed.
Was me, I think? I am bus driver, Russia. I can always tell when passenger need toilet. If has to pee, they sit with leg crossed. If has to poop... well, they not sit comfortably, and they look worried. And sometimes also their stomach make noise, haha.
DeleteI have two children. My muscle down there not strong, I cannot wait long. Not many tree or bush on route. Very expose, very embarrass. One time I have to do it full on view of road, many cars, very very embarrass. Now I always stop at trees and use them, my passenger also. And I give paper. For women always, for men only if I think they must poop. I can alway tell.
I carry tourist from many country. My Russian paper has cleaned German bottoms, Chinese, Turkish, French. Every country. Young and old, man and woman.
Yes, sometimes it has to be done in the bushes. Lucky when having paper then, or having a driver who can provide paper!!
DeleteYes, I want passenger to do what they must do and feel better after. I no want them to have to hold in, maybe have accident in pants. Or use grass or rock, have sore or dirty bottom, maybe use nettle and get hurt there. (This happen once when I young... I go to pee, then wipe between legs with nettle by mistake. Hurt very bad! Could not go to bed with boyfriend that night.)
DeleteI love to see how different they look after going to bushes. Before, they walk funny, look worry. After, they have big smiles. The bladder (or stomach) feel so good when it is emptied! I love helping my passenger feel better.
I also carry tampon in bus. I no need for a few years now, but I still carry, in case lady passenger need.
Does anyone ever talk abot it??
DeleteJust a question to Aglaya. Are people in Russia used to pooping outside, for example when camping, picking beries/mushrooms etc? Do they feel it natural?
DeleteIn Poland we used to be, back in the 1980s for example. Now I think it is regarded as very rude.
DeletePoland man - I think it depend where you are. On major road, best to find gas station, store, public toilet etc. If campground has outhouse, please use. But if miles away in the bush, no toilet for miles... what can you do? Hold all day? Go in pants? No, you must. As long as you dig and bury, is OK. Very normal in Russia.
DeleteAnonymous - sometimes they ask to stop. Or say afterward, "ahh, I feels better." But often, no. They are ashamed. Many are from big city, no know how to do outside. Not think it allowed. Sometimes I have to explain. Why be ashamed? Every one does.
So I can tell by looking at them when they need to go, because they to embarrass to ask. (English word "embarrass" is funny to me. Sounds like, "bare ass" haha.)
Four questions to Aglaya:
DeleteHave you ever seen any of your male passengers, those from town etc., really squat with a "bare ass"?
Do truck drivers often poop outdoor?
Do private persons carry toilet paper in their cars when driving in the country side?
Does your passengers realy dig and cover?
1. Usually I know not to follow them. If I have my own needs, I wait till they are done. Why only men, by the way? It happens more often to women.
Delete2. Maybe. I don't know, I am not truck driver.
3. Not often, but sometimes tissues etc. that they can use for that. Sometimes I see people go to bushes, without I give them paper. Maybe they have their own, maybe use leaves etc.
4. Yes, I give them shovel to use. Is not respectful otherwise.
I asked about men, because I am a man. And I feel it worse if a woman comes when I squat than if a man does. And when a man squats he for sure is pooping but a woman may only be peeing.
DeleteMy grandmother always carry toilet paper in her car. When she was younger there were not many toilet along the roads in Europe. But she, and many others, do not dig a hole!!
Ah, I see. I have peed outside with women friends, and pooped once - with my sister, when we were teens. I would not do that with a man, except maybe my husband.
DeleteHas anybody seen you do that? I am sorry if so. Are you the man who wrote original post?
Yes, I have been seen.
DeleteI am not the original poster.
When I was a kid in the 1980s, I think this was more normalized. We did not go camping, but on Sundays we often went to the woods for walking, picking berries and mushrooms etc. Along the roads and at the parking lots there were no toilets. When we had to pee, and if need of pooping also, we had to do that in the surrounding bushes. I think nobody even reflected upon it, it had to be so. My mom usually had a roll of toilet paper in her car so that we could use. When my sister or I said we had to go to toilet, she just gave us the roll and said we had to go in the bushes. My mom also did, and even my grandparents, I know. It was not so only in our family. Also other did, for example the family of my best friend and my aunt and uncle. Today everybody ask for a toilet. Because there are toilet around. At that time nobody asked about that, because there was no toilet! No use to ask. Everybody knew. But nobody talked about it. Even as I child we knew that this should be unmentioned, even what you did yourself, but certainly one should not tell if one spotted others. Everybody did it. Everybody knew it. Nobody talked about it. Nobody made a hole. We just left it in the gras for nature to take care of it. Even tourists did so. For me, Germans were much more modern than Polish persons at that time. I still remember how surprised I was when I once spotted a German tourist when she pulled down trousers, squatted and left her poop on the ground at a resting area. Well, this was memories from 40 years back.
DeletePolish man - well, Russia is very large and underdeveloped country. Many roads still don't have adequate rest stops. Hiking trails and campgrounds, even less so.
DeleteI think us Slavic people have less shame about body needs than West Europe people have. You must know famous Polish tennis player, Iga Swiatek. She once had a match where she did poorly in first half, took break, then played well second half and won match. Reporter asked her, "Why did you play better after break? Did you change strategy?" She said, "no, during break I went to toilet and I got lighter!" People were shocked, but she was only being honest.
I think playing tennis when you really have to s**t would be awful. No wonder she not played well first half!
I agree!! Totaly! But even in Western countries practices varies. Last summer I camped in Sweden and even there many people went to the bushes because toilets were lacking. Sure, normal things nothing to be ashamed for.
DeleteYes, Aglaya, we should be more open about these things! Nice of you to offer toilet paper to your needing passengers. That is a step in the right direction. If you didn't they should have to sneak away and wipe with leaves, grass, paper from a newspaper etc!! When you acknowledge their needs nobody will eiter feel it so embarrassing as they else would have done.
DeleteOnce at I day hike, I asked our guide for the nearest toilet. She told that should be no for many hours, and said that if need one had to do go i nature. She added that if necessary I could get paper from here.
DeletePoland man - did you need paper on that occasion? Did she say anything when she gave it you, or when you returned to the group?
DeletePoland man - yes, my family took me on fishing and hunting trips, even at very young age. I learned to do it in woods about same age I learned to do it in toilet!
DeleteAnd I am very used to use moss, snow, rocks, whatever I find if needed. But tourist are not much used to this, so I bring paper.
To Anonymous: I was very embarrassed in that situation. Therefore I first said to the guide that "I'll manage" without going in details. But after lunch I couldn't hold it longer. I had to ask her for some paper. I don't exactly remember what she said, but she smiled and said like "sure" and gave med a small packet of thin paper napkins containing like 10 or 12 sheets. I went over among some dense bushes and got it done. I only used some four or five and had to give the rest back to the guide. "Went well?" she asked with a frindly smile. "Sure" I think I said and she answered "best to get such things done". That was all I think.
DeleteI still flush when thinking about it. About 40 years back, when biking in the countryside of Greece I took a break at a remote archaeological site. At a sales booth there I bought some limonade, which I probably should not have done. I had been constipated for four days, The drinking trigged my guts. Something just had to be done, and that as soon as possible. I asked the girl at the sales booth about toilets. She said in bad English Sorry, no toilets here, you have to ... and pointed at the backbushes! She saw that I hesitated and then asked with a low voice: Paper? Eh, uhm, yes please, I answered, and she gave me a bunch of paper napkins. Her face signalized that she felt sorry for me. With paper in my hands I rapidly walked over to the bushes, found shelter and pulled down. Except from the context, my best and most needed dump ever. Back at the booth to take my bike, she smiled and asked. Better now? Sure, I said and tried to smile. Sorry, no toilet here, we also must so, she said with a tiny smile. An embarrassing situation, but she obviously was able to understand a man in huge need.
DeleteQuestions to Aglaya.
DeleteDo men ask for toilet paper? How else do you know they need to poo?
Have you ever seen any of your passengers going? (I ask because I once in Turkey had to go in nature during a bus excursion. (No toilet in the bus.) At a break I went back some bushes. When squatting, bum bare, no doubt what I was doing, our guide (a young woman) showed up. Oh gosh, she exclaimed, sorry, sorry, sorry, before she disappeared. Not a very pleasant incident, and her reaction didn't exactly reduce my embarrassment, I must say. For the rest of the trip I think we both avoided our eyes to meet!
Sometimes they ask, but sometimes I can just tell. Having to pee has different "body language" fron having to poop, I think.
DeleteI saw lady passenger once, but never man.
I feel bad for girl at lemonade stand. There all day, drink lots of lemonade, no toilet...
Thanks, Aglaya!
DeleteThe situation at the lemonade booth was terrible. I had to poop and she understodd. Luckily, I hope, nobody observed me.
When I was a student, I used to work as a guide at an archaeological site in the countryside. There was no toilet around. I saw many go somewhere in nature. Occasionally someone asked, and then I always had paper napkins to give to them if needed.
DeleteMany tourists became very embarrassed when I told that they had to go in nature.
DeleteTo Maria. Did you work in Greece? Some years ago when visiting a remote archaeological site there, I couldn't avoid going to toilet. When arriving at the site, I asked the guide for the toilets. She told me that the only option was to go somewhere in nature. She said that if necessary, I could get toilet paper from her. At first I said no thanks. But during the stay there, the urge turned out to become unbearable and when I saw that the guide was alone, I had to go over to her again and ask for some paper. In some way I excused myself saying like sorry, but I think I have to use the offer of paper as you mentioned earlier. Sure, she said with a smile, and took a bunch of paper napkins from her backpack and handed over to me and pointed to the other end of the parking area, suggesting that if I walked some 100 meters along a path over there, I should find some dense bushes to hide behind. I so did and found perfect shelter and got it all done in a few minutes. Back at the parking lot she smiled to me and I gave a humble smile back. I guess she understood, but I felt it quite embarrassing involving a young woman in my needs.
DeleteI had a similar experience. I had to ask my guide for paper on a nature hike. He was a very nice young man and as a woman I felt embarrassed to ask. At first he only gave me one sheet of paper. I think he thought I just had to urinate. But I said quietly "no, you see... I have a stomachache." Then he gave me a couple wet wipes and said, "these will better clean your..." He blushed ad didnt finish the sentence.
DeleteI usually remember to bring toilet paper when I am hiking or biking, but not always when on a car trip. I also find it embarrassing to ask others for paper, but I must admit that I have had to do it a few times. Not only is it embarrassing to ask, but it also sometimes is embarassing to be the one to be asked! Most of us don't like to be involved in other persons' toilet visits.
DeleteYes, embarrassing to be asked, but of course one does all one can to ease the unfortunate person's discomfort and help them take care of their needs. I wouldn't want to be responsible for anyone having an "accident" in their pants.
DeleteOnce driving in the country side of Finland I had stopped a rest area to make a phone call. When talking in the phone I began feeling an urge to open my bowels. I spoke to an important customer and therefore I didn't feel for terminating the conversation. I ended up speaking at least 1/2 hr, and then the urge was very strong.
DeleteAt the other end of the parking lot there was a small sales stand with a woman selling vegetables etc to the people driving by. I went over to her to ask how long distance it was to a village or a petrol station. She said about 20 min to drive. Then I asked if she knew about a toilet somewhat closer. She said, so sorry, no. I hesitated and I guess she spotted my despair because she added she had paper if I needed to visit the woods!
The urge was so bad that I just had to accept the offer. She gave me her paper roll and I headed into the surrounding woods. When out of sight for her, trousers down, squatting and letting loose. Really needed!
When handing back the roll to her, I thanked and said good that you had toilet paper. She smiled and commented, for sure, necessary for me too when standing here for the whole day!
I am a forewoman of a road building crew. Most of our work sites do not have toilets. I tell my employees that they need to move their bowels before work, so as to not pollute the area where we work. Urination I don't really care about, it just evaporates or soaks into the ground.
DeleteStill, I understand that "emergency" situations do happen, so I bring a toilet roll and make it available to employees who ask for it. If you ask for it, I will probably make fun of you a little. If you're not willing to risk that, then you don't have to go that badly and you can probably wait until after work.
Most working days I am inspecting and mending roads in the country side. I always try to remember to have a roll of toilet paper in my car because I often have to go somewhere in nature because it is too long to drive to find a toilet.
DeleteLast week I had to use another car than usually. There I found no paper and I had to wipe with grass!
Some months back I was mounting road signs along a newly built road stretch in a very deserted area when I had to go badly. I took the roll of paper and went back some bushes. When squatting there, one of the construction workers, a young female road building engineer, showed up. She smiled and I tried to smile. Nothing said. Luckily I understood that she was back there because she had to pee. I got a glimpse of her squatting on my way back to the road. At lunch time she came over to my car and said that she understood that I had toilet paper, and asked to get some from me. She got the roll and walked into the woods. When coming back we both smiled, and nothing said. Probably she was a bit embarrassed, but found it better to ask for some ordinary paper than wipe with grass. I guess she found it better to as me than one of the others as she had seen me doing it too.
Sometimes I see tourists and truck drivers who also have to go in the bushes. I have been caught a number of times, but not very often compared with all the times I have had to poop outside.
Personally I just drink my coffee in the morning and it "cleans me out" before work.
DeleteIt's one thing if you are travelling and get caught short, but if you are working every day in a place with no toilet, you really should train your body to defecate before or after work.
I mean, if every person on the crew pooped at the worksite every day, the place would be a minefield, impossible to walk wothout stepping in something. Digging holes helps, but there are a limited number of places to dig them.
So that's why I don't give my employees TP unless they're absolutely bursting.
It is very seldom that I am on the same place one day after another. Where many workers stay for several days, there often also are toilet cabins. But when, like me, driving around to different spots every day, that is not possible. It is almost like being a tourist or a truck driver,
DeleteHmm, okay, I guess if you work in different locations you are distributing your impact, but it's not as bad. Still I prefer to go before work so I don't have to show my bum to passing drivers (there is rarely privacy at work sites).
DeleteSarah, you really should be more understanding of your employees' needs! Not everyone is completely regular, and sometimes unexpected "emergencies" strike.
DeleteI also had a boss who did not want employees to defecate when we were working. One day after I had been constipated for several days, it unexpectedly "came loose" while at the job site.
I begged my boss for toilet paper, but ahe said it was a point of pride with her to never carry any. She said I should have gone before work and now I would have to wait until after work. She also said "if I catch you squatting out there, you are fired!" Whenever I went away from the group she would follow me.
I was in so much pain in my stomach that day. I could think about nothing but my needs and could barely work. I was shifting from foot to foot and squirming around. I was very lucky I didn't soil myself, even when having to crouch to lift heavy objects (although I did fart, to my boss' disgust and my female coworkers' amusement.)
But the relief when I got home and my butt hit the.porcelain was amazing! I was able to produce an enormous pile. When I finished and came put, my girlfriend (who knew about my constipation problem) hugged me and said "I'm glad you are cured, my dear". She must have heard me in there.
It sound quite raw and ruthless to behave like your boss! And to Sarah: I guess that most people will understand if they spot a bare arse behind some bushes and will turn away immediately.
DeleteYesterday I went for a relatively short cross country skiing trip just after breakfast. Out there I got a sudden urge to take a dump and I understood that I could not postpone it till I got back to the cabin. Luckily no people around and I went over to some low bushes where I could pull down and poop into the snow. Usually I always carry toilet paper when walking or skiing in the mountains, but as this was planned only to be a short trip, I did not this time. I had to use "snowballs". They fulfilled their task!
ReplyDeleteWhen planning to stay outdoor for a whole day or several days I always remember to bring toilet paper. However, occasionally I have been caught short in other situations. Last summer, when out in the woods picking berries, the urge suddenly appeared and I had no choice but squat behind some bushes. Then I used the approach described above with widening the crack with my hands to minimize the need for wiping. Then I used some mosses and finally some maple leaves. It worked well. Luckily nobody spotted me.
ReplyDeleteOnce on a car trip with my father and my grandma we had to stop at a resting area because she had to go to toilet. No toilet there and she had to rush behind some bushes. We had no toilet paper in the car. I had to go back there and give her some pages from a newspaper. When I came she had tried to pull up a bit, to cover her front, but I saw the poo-snake on the ground. When she was wiping a male motorcyclist came up from behind and saw her. None of us mentioned the incident later.
ReplyDeleteOnce I had to stop at a remote resting area and relieve myself in the woods. I had no toilet paper, but I had some banana and orange peel in my waste bag. They fulfilled their task! I could leave the woods with at least some feeling of decency - I did not have to spoil my undies! Luckily nobody was around.
ReplyDeleteI had a similar experience once. I was picnicking with my family at a remote location and my son needed to defecate. We had just thrown away the last of the napkins, so I ate several bananas so that he could take the peel with him on his trip into the woods. Unfortunately, as a result of all those bananas I felt a similar need myself, and my son had used all the peels...
DeleteUgh, how did you cope with that challenge?
DeleteI gritted my teeth and clenched my "cheeks" together until I got home!
DeleteAfter giving birth to three children, my sphincter down there is not as stong as before. Therefore I am mostly not able to "clench my cheeks" till I get home. I always carry toilet paper in my back pack, even on shorter day trips and picnics. Before I realized my handicap I experienced quite a lot of embarrassing situations where things had to be done in the bushes without toilet paper. Car trip in Scotland. Had to stop roadside and use paper from a magazine. Biking in France using the paper from a fruit bag. The paper labels of two water bottles at a beach in Greece etc etc. Even a snow ball when skiing in the Alps.
DeleteAt least, carrying toilet paper helps me doing it in a "semi-decent" and quite rapid way. When camping in the wilderness, it is ok, because then nobody else has another option than squatting in the bushes. However, on daytrips etc I guess most adults try to put it off till reaching a toilet, and mostly also succeed with that. But not me! I am one of those, that when taking a break along the road, you can see disappearing into some nearby bushes, or walking alone away from the dunes into the backwoods at the beach.
I have the same problem! I work as a driver of a delivery van, transporting parcels to private homes and small enterprises in rural areas. Every day I drive between 200 and 400 kilometers, mostly in very remote areas. I start work at 6am and finish at 16 am. During that period I have to pee a couple of times and usually I also have to poop.
DeleteOnly occasionally there are toilets along my routes. I don't feel comfortable with asking my customers to use their toilets. During my over 10 years in this job I therefore have got very used to go to toilet in the outdoors. I always bring a roll of toilet paper in the car. As mentioned by "Anonymous" that gives me a "semi-decent" feeling when relieving myself behind a bush. I guess that is not what 50+ year women in a civilised society is expected to do.
This is a well known challenge for me too. A decade or so back I used to work as a truck driver across Europe, often along roads where it was difficult to find a toilet when needing it. I also always had a roll of toilet paper in the cab. Countless times I had to relieve myself in the woods. In remote areas that was uncomplicated. However, at lay-bys along busy roads it often was a challenge, not least because most of those stopping there did it because they had the same human needs!
DeleteTourists, professional drivers, random road users. I have seen them all. (And they hav seen me too!!) My own colleagues from lots of countries, appear to be predominant. Most truck drivers, male or female, know all about the issue. But in summer, tourist too are frequently observed.
You simply cannot be too concerned about privacy out there. I soon experienced that even the sporty Dutch woman was back there only because she had the same needs as me. My wife, who sometimes accompanied me, even got used to it and didn't complain.
several comments on here mention a "sporty Dutch woman" being seen relieving herself... I am myself a sporty Dutch woman, who has to "go" outside frequently (wildplassen we call it, or wildpoepen depending on the function being perormed). I hope I am not the person being referred to!
DeleteComment to Anonymous above: I wrote the text alluding to the "sporty Dutch woman"! In my mind, I then had a situation from the Norway last summer, not as a driver but as a camper. We were wildcamping on our way to North Cape, and there far north we one night stayed at the same spot as a Dutch couple. I hope that it was not you! But, if so, sorry.
DeleteThe North Cape... last summer... a Danish truck driver... oh dear. Yes, I believe that was me. I tried to find a spot well out of view of all the campsites, but the terrain was rather barren and the need quite deperate. I considered trying to wait until nightfall, but I feared that waiting so long would result in something even more embarrassing.
DeleteIn the end, I chose to go behind the largest stone I could.find, though still barely large enough to conceal my bare bum, let alone the rest of me. I hope that you at least saw nothing intimate.
By the way, where did you attend to your own needs on that trip? I didn't see many other places to do it, and I certainly hope you didn't use the same rock I did. I left it rather a mess. Sorry, but the ground was too hard to dig a hole!
Hurray! Incredible! A shiny white bottom was what was visible.
DeleteAnd don't worry, I was out there in the terrain for the same reason. I really thought you had noticed me too. There weren't many places where you could hide. Nor any possibility to dig a hole!
It was a bit of a coincidence who was mentioned in my first comment here. It could just as easily have been the grey-haired German woman, the Norwegian cycling girl or the Swedish man, or just as easily anyone else.
My wife was surprised by a man in the early morning, maybe it was your husband.
"Sporty Dutch woman"? I'm getting jealous! Why not Belgian women? We will never be counted!
DeleteHere: mature Belgian lady on a road trip to the North Cape last year. Eventually I also found that squatting in nature was more comfortable than using dirty toilets along the way.
No door to lock, right? There were probably some who saw something they shouldn't, namely a tall Belgian woman (+180 cm) squatting with a bare bottom and white thighs. I practiced smiling and waving back a bit awkwardly. I was never so bold as to point out that, well, even Belgian university professors have to shit, and that's how it looks!
But it was sporty! Even so sporty that I got to test out reindeer moss instead of toilet paper. It worked.
Last summer on a drive through northern Finland I had such a strong urge to poo that I simply had to stop along the road and go into the forest and squat behind a tree. I didn't have any toilet paper with me, so I also had to use moss to wipe my bum with. That went really well. Luckily it was a normal stool and not diarrhoea. I washed my hands in a stream before driving on. For the rest of the holiday, I made sure to have toilet paper in the car so that I could fix myself in the usual way when I had to go to the bathroom outside.
DeleteWhat the hell is the problem? When you're camping in the wilderness, you just have to shit outside, right? Then there is no door to lock. Of course, it happens that you are seen, or that you see others fulfilling their natural and self-evident needs. Be it a Danish truck driver, a sporty Dutch woman or a Belgian lady, anything else would be sensational. There is simply nothing to talk about, much less write about. Most people try to hide as best they can. And if it is not possible to dig a hole, you can try to clean up a bit after yourself, cover the excrement with stones or earth and if you have used paper, can it be taken to the garbage bag? Then it goes so well, but you simply have to put up with the fact that it won't be as private as at work at home. This is often how life is out there. Sometimes we have no other options.
DeleteOnce on a biking trip on Crete I was caught by a sudden urge to poop and realized that I should not reach any toilet in due time. I climbed over a stone fence and squatted behind. I had no toilet paper, but I made kind of a broom with grass. It had a satisfactory effect! Luckily nobody else was around.
ReplyDeleteHaha, a broom! Did it tickle?
DeleteYes, it is good that no one saw you. But after all, everyone does it, and no one looks dignified in that position. Hopefully you felt relieved after your emergency stop.
Did you bury your waste, or at least kick some dirt over it, so that no one would step in it?
Tickling wasn't a prominent feeling. I just felt embarrassed (and took a shower immediately when back at the hotel). However, the relief was perfect. Well, the load was placed just in some dense bushes, so I did not really cover it, but no chance for anyone to step in it! I did not tell anyone - too embarrassing. And for sure, being spotted in that position would have been terrible. Once at a day hike in the mountains I spotted our guide squatting behind some stones. I think I felt as embarrassed as she did. I guess nobody likes to be observed in that position, anyway.
DeleteI have a few such stories to tell.
Delete(1) Picking berries in the woods with my grandparents, I had to poop. My grandma told me to just squat behind some bushes. We had no toilet paper, but my grandpa tore off a page from a newspaper and gave me to wipe with. Later that day both of my grandparents also had to poop and they also had to use such paper for wiping!
(2) At a fishing trip with my dad and my uncle, my uncle wiped with maple leaves after pooping in the bushes. My dad also pooped, and he wiped with some smooth pebbles which he found at the shore of the river.
(3) At a beach in Portugal I also once wiped with smooth pebbles and washed my bottom and hands afterwards.
(4) In the woods I once saw a man wiping this bottom with his undies and put it away under some stones afterwards.
(3)
At a beach? That doesn't sound very private... was there anything to hide behind? And you said you washed your bottom in the water. Did anyone see you?
DeleteHow well did the pebbles work as toilet paper? Were they comfortable? A pebble sounds a little too small, I hope you didn't get anything on your hands.
I also had an "emergency" at a beach once, on a field trip in secondary school. There was no toilet. I told the teacher and she told me, "just go for a swim and pee in the ocean". (The weather was warm and several people were already swimming.) I was too embarrassed to tell her that I didn't just have to pee. The rest of the field trip was not very enjoyable for me because of my aching stomach. I was very glad when we went back to school and I was able to use the toilet.
There were lots of bushes behind the beach. Hopefully, nobody observed what I was doing. Pebbles ok just as a start, before gong into the water. (My boy friend also had to poop. He pooped in the water!!)
DeleteJust now, sunrise at a popular beach in Northern Norway. I had been constipated for a couple of days and now I had decided to try to get it out and wandered off to some nearby bushes. I was not the only one. When entering the bushes I walked straight in on an older woman, squatting, exposing her white bottom to the nature (and me). I pretended not to see her, and she avoided to meet my eyes.
DeleteWas your constipation ended that morning? I hope so! Constipation is an awful feeling.
DeleteYes, it was! This morning I was able to pass a perfect poop. (Also in the bushes because we have no toilet in our van.)
DeleteAh, I'm happy for you! Glad your digestion is back to normal. I find that my best moments of contemplating nature sometimes come when I'm taking a prolonged dump outside.
DeleteI have managed to maintain normal motions every morning for five consecutive days now, even though it has had to be done in the bushes!!
DeleteGood for you! Thank the trees and bushes for shielding your bum from passersby, and they in turn will thank you for your generous contributions of fertilizer.
DeleteHe, he. Yes, real recirculation! That's "in" nowadays. Adds to sustainability for the vegetation.
DeleteRecirculation! Thanks for the idea! It is not the most popular part of outdoor life for a mature woman. However, the concept of recirculation may make it less embarrassing. My hiking friend has another expression. She talks about negotiating with Mother Earth when she has to drop her short behind a bush and return her human waste to nature.
DeleteWell said! When nature calls, you must answer... else she will arrive unnanounced!
DeleteI know! At a long car trip I tried to reach the next hotel. But I had to stop at a rest area and go in the woods. Had to wipe with some pages from a magazine. Mother Nature took her toll.
DeleteHow embarrassing! I'm lucky I've never been quite that desperate... wiping with a magazine sounds rather uncomfortable. Were you sore afterward?
DeleteNo, not sore. But it didn't function perfect cause I got some brown stains in my undies afterwards.
DeleteAh, that's a shame. Still it was probably a good choice to go in the bushes. If you hadn't, the damage to your underwear might have been still greater!
DeleteYeah! Better out than in is my guidance. As a truck driver I tell from experience. Now I always try to keep toilet paper in my truck. I don't know how many times I have had to squat behind a bush at a rest area, with or without toilet paper. Continuing driving when in need is a risky pursuit of many reasons!! During the years I have learnt to know that I am not the only one. Other truck drivers, tourists, random drivers and passengers... Men, women, adults, children...
DeleteThanks! No easy to make it a contemplating moment here where I am now. Too may people around. It has to be done quickly. But also this morning, at 07:00 CEST, I managed to get it done. I was able to pass a smooth, long cable, leaving me with a very satisfying feeling before the day really starts.
ReplyDeleteDon't let fear of being seen prevent you from having a thorough elimination! Anyone who comes across you in the bushes is surely there to do the same thing. Take your time and get everything out.
DeleteGetting enough fiber to keep regular is difficult when camping, when perishable foods like fresh vegetables are not available due to lack of refrigeration. Doubly so when backpacking, when one must carry all one's food and canned goods are often prohibitively heavy.
I find that coffee or tea, dried fruit, muesli, and dried beans or lentils are good expedition supplies that help to avert this problem. Seasoning food well and getting plenty of water also helps. And when all else fails, laxative pills belong in every trekker's medical bag!
I strongly agree with Anonymous above. It is important to keep regular motions when hiking to avoid stomach pains. The right nutrition combined with physical activity make a good platform. However, in addition one has to "listen" to the guts and avoid suppressing the upcoming urge. When feeling the urge, just go!
DeleteAs Anonymous also points at above, potential others showing up back there in the bushes most probably are there for the same reason. The need to poop is universal. We all do it. Think about that when hesitating to pull trousers down and squat.
I am a student, but every summer I work as a mountain guide, often taking quite inexperienced people out for a hike. Sometimes it is just for one day, other times we camp in tents or stay for the night in cabins.
DeleteTo make it all less embarrassing I always say a bit about it in my introduction, giving some practical advice etc. However, some people still seem to be very unsure and uncomfortable when the urge turn up. They ofte come over to me when I am standing alone and ask with a careful and low voice about the matter.
Often the question is about toilet paper. Others ask for advice on where to go, and some even ask me to stand guard over them when they go in the bushes to ensure that nobody shows up. I have also had to help people finding a fallen tree or like on which they can sit when they do it. On those one week camping trips I always bring some micro-enemas because almost always somebody gets constipated.
When hiking with children I always tell them that even the adults leaders have no other choice out there
My girlfriend always asks me to go with her when she has to go to toilet outside when camping. Partly to stand guard, partly because she has no sense of direction and is afraid she'll get lost in the woods and not be able to find her way back to camp. So I look the other way and try not to laugh at the sounds I hear coming from the bushes (if it's number 2).
DeleteAt a resting area I once walked in from behind on a mature woman squatting. She really had bad luck because she had placed her husband to stand guard for her on the other side (up by the resting area). I saw as well has heard what I was not expected to experience. I shall never forget the desperate expression in her face when I passed. I said excuse and got away as quickly as I could.
DeleteI have great sympathy with the unfortunate woman. I tell from experience in an acute situation and had to go behind a bush at a rest area. Had no tp. and had to use a page from a newspaper and then out of nothing a man turned up. He turned away in the moment he spotted me.
DeleteJeanette - are the enemas the kind that the patient can apply to themself, or do you have to assist them? As a man I would be humiliated if a woman had to do that to me, and I wonder if your male expedition members feel the same.
DeleteTo Anonymous above. I bring a pack of Micralax. They are small (5 ml) and rather easy to apply by oneself. However, many have not used an enema before. Some may therefore need a quite detailed explanation how to use it. For sure, many get embarrassed about discussing it, but when they tell me, they suffer quite bad. I always take such conversations when others cannot listen in.
DeleteA very important detail, is to remind the user that the effect may come quickly (mostly after just 5-10 minutes) and be quite strong. I suggest that one should go for a short walk, well away from the group before applying it, and do not return until the stool is passed. I also tell that there often is a need to open the bowels two times or more before getting really emptied. Mot users are female, but occasionally also men ask for help. I have never had to help anyone applying it, but I once had a man that thought that he should drink it!
Those asking for help, often do it in the evening. When someone has used an enema, I try to encourage them to follow up already the next morning so they do not get into it again. I suggest that they go for an early morning stroll to find a place where they feel sure to be alone and try to get it done again.
DeleteAh, you sound like a very kind leader, taking good care of your group members while managing your embarrasment. It is good that you mention the enemas' rapid effect! Failing to bring that up might lead to some very unfortunate situations.
DeleteI have heard that constipation is more common among women. I wonder why.
I think it is important that leaders/instructors are frank and direct about this, so that inexperienced participants are convinced that is in nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.
DeleteJust to clarify, we don't have a toilet in our van (an old VW Transporter). Therefore no way around pooping outdoor. My girl friend also does, and even other "boondockers" here do the same.
ReplyDeleteTwo weeks ago I by a coincidence observed a mature woman wiping her bottom with sea water! She was on a kayak camping trip at the Swedish coast line. She walked around a small headland so that she was not seen by the others. But she didn't notice me. She pulled down her bikini and squatted and pooped right where land and sea meet. When she was done, she used water from the sea and washed herself underneath with her hands. The poop was quickly washed away by the waves.
DeleteSomething similar happened in a kayaking group I was part of. We stopped for lunch in a small fishing village, and there was a general store. We had been without luxuries like refrigerated food for a long time. A woman in our group had been craving ice cream the whole trip, so she bought a pint container and ate the whole thing!
DeleteNaturally such an intake affected her digestion... that afternoon, she urgently needed to defecate, but there were no beaches nearby to make a landing. She asked the rest of us for help. We all surrounded her kayak with ours, and held on to it to keep it steady so that she could hang her bum over the side without capsizing. This accomplished, everyone closed their eyes to give her at least a tiny bit of privacy. I could hear her straining, and then an "ahh" and several splashes, along with a sound of breaking wind. I believe she cleaned herself with seawater also. Poor girl - she was terribly embarrassed.
Oh gosh! Having an audience in such a situation must have been terrible. I am an avid hiker and spend much time in the outdoors and thus often have to go in the bushes. However, it is rather seldom that it cannot be done in privacy.
Delete